Of sticks and stones

Dear readers,

It's been a long time since the last proper essay, and tkwek makes a futile attempt to revive the writing ethos with this post, Of Sticks and Stones.

Anyway today was classic - thanks ernest for listening to all my crap. If you're reading this, that is. We must go blog-surfing together one day haha.

Friends are like onions. They add flavour to your life. And you cry when they're cut.
The Straight Times Editor

Of sticks and stones

Just recently I was chatting to a close friend, and to make me divulge a secret, she began to threaten me in jest – there was a flurry of words, but somewhere down the line, there came the phrase: “sticks and stones to break your bones?”

I immediately thought of the rhyme that, since time immemorial, seems to have been the only comfort – yes, in life and death – to the teased and bullied: “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me”. The immortal one-liner may seem a good defense against insults of all kind – after all, you can prevent yourself from being hurt by things if you simply cut away from them altogether – but then again, what’s there to gain from living hermit-style in a world of friends?

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In our lives, we inevitably meet with people, and people are like different surfaces. As science students would gladly tell me, when objects of different surfaces interact, tiny bumps in the surfaces interlock, and give rise to what we call friction. Similarly, people have different strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, tastes and distastes; and in this beautifully unique creation, everybody’s special. But this makes people especially hard to work with. And as many of my friends would know, friction is nothing new in our vibrant, ever-changing cliques.

We are a maturing lot. Yet the friction doesn’t seem to have grown less over the years. People, like particles – pardon the repeated science analogies – are attracted to and repelled away from each other in turn, certain groups need stabilizing ‘neutrons’ to keep the ‘protons’ in place, and in some cases, the chemistry between people is so strong and so firm that it takes a scandal or more to tear these – ionic and covalent – bonds apart. But friction is a wolf in sheepskin, and takes all the above forms, creating awkward situations, making best buddies fall for the same girl, and infusing suspicion into a happy world.

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Over time, I’ve realized that a lot of the friction that we see around us, friction that runs an almost systematic search-and-destroy function to split the most sticky of ties, is actually caused not by sticks and stones – our actions, unintentional or otherwise – but by ‘names’, which include the thoughtless words that spew out of our mouths in daily life. Mortals like us find the tongue the most useful, yet the most troublesome organ, because from it proceeds not just blessings, but also curses, not just laughter, but also cruelty.

And what’s more, much of this is done without our thinking.

I, myself, for one, find my tongue the swiftest, yet the most unpredictable, runner in its field. When completely unnecessary – and uncalled for – my tongue sprints ahead of my mind and blurts out half-formed thoughts that should never have been articulated. Many things I say are on the spur of the moment, and – OUCH! – bring hurt to those around me. I’m pretty sure we all have such experiences: saying something then immediately cursing ourselves inside - *&^%! Why did I say that?

I’d like to take this chance to apologize to all those whose hearts – and not bones, though this alternative may not have been worse – were broken by my words, and I’d like to promise that I’ll do my best to clean it up. After all, a broken heart is a bloody mess.

Before I end, I’d also like to pray, for you all and for me, that this speech that we have been blessed with will only reflect all things bright and beautiful. And point to a world of less friction.


symphony or cacophony - which is my life?