pull in the slack

Dear readers,


Happy Obama Day - and CNY too in advance. This essay on getting used to school again needs no introduction - read on!


The Straight Times Editor


Back to Work '09

I do believe the holidays have done me more harm than good.

Almost two years after I wrote an essay about ‘disillusionment’ in Secondary One, I feel I’m back at square one. In my eight years as a student – and counting – I think it’s the first time I’ve ever felt this way. To me, the holidays have always been, as they are in every child’s psyche, that long-awaited season of thanksgiving, reflection, entertainment and no homework.

But this holiday – especially the last few weeks or so of it – has seen me putting aside (for lack of time) my violin practice, stashing away the workbooks, hardly writing at all, and not listening to a daily mix of Tchaikovsky or Beethoven. Instead, the long days have been filled with various rehearsals, a light blend of pop and multiple leisurely forays into neurology and biochemistry.

While this is what I might have thirsted for on a normal school-day, the lethargy of the past month has left me to face this gear-shifting back-to-school period with absolute lack of inspiration and a gnawing sense of meaninglessness.

Perhaps I should blame the certain unease that I get from not being able to recognize myself in long pants. Or this sudden infectious liking for various contemporary musical genres. Maybe it’s the many commitments that have found their ways into my life like ants burrowing into a cheesecake. Whichever it is, the truth remains, and I think I’m stuck.

Looking at this restless feeling I’ve been getting since school begun a week and a half ago, I’ve thought of several ways to get my life back on-track. They probably aren’t anybody’s ideal Chicken Soup for the Start of Term, but they’ll do:

In all things, begin with the heart. Earlier today – wondering by what cosmic fourth-dimension trick had twenty-four hours mysteriously shrunk to eighteen – I wrote “find time find time find time find time…” across the school planner, before crossing it out and scrawling “make time make time make time make time…” in its place. And after that I crossed that out too, scribbling “find meaning find meaning find meaning find meaning…” below it.

Now I’ve realized, though, that all three apply. I’ve first got to change my mindset to find that passion of yesteryear in everything I do – and yes, whether I like it or not. It’s the kind of everything-goes attitude that has kept me burning till now, and it’s one that I can’t afford to lose.

But after that comes making time, a skill that gives us the power of drawing the hours from nothing like pulling candy-floss from a wheel. It’s the skill of giving everything a neat slot of time for itself (half an hour for this essay, for example) and sticking to it. There’s no need to write it down, really – that incidentally the part of daily planning that most people hate most – so long as we discipline ourselves to carve out each hour.

And last but not least, finding time – a pursuit that takes much less effort than many would think. Yet few people know what to do with the short pockets of time that they find. I’ve decided to unearth ten minutes a day, five for simple physical stretches and five for simple mental ones – a couple of quiet thoughts, I guess, might do me some good.

The year draws on, and as the world celebrates the States’ first Afro-American leader, let’s get back down to work.